tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
