i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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