wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
