I wanna bring you to show and tell
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
