We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
