Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
