what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
