Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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