Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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