if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
