Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize