she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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