the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
