Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
