eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
