yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
