whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
