We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
