By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
