Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
