Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
