We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
