So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
