I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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