i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
