i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
