Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She said her name was "party"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
