she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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