I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
