is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
