how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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