I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish you could order shots online.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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