I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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