Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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