She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
sex in a hospital.. check
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
