That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
