my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
