youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
