you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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