you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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