1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i already hear my dad disowning me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just pee around me
This is classic penis vs brain.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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