i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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