You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
