Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
