I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
