Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
