I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
