Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
