McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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