Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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