if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
