I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
